Match Report

With Stokes and co. producing a nail-biting finish to the first Test vs India just a week ago, who could have predicted that Riley and co. would serve up something with just as much bite?

On one of the hottest days of the year so far, MSCC welcomed regular foes The Min to our hallowed Oxfordshire turf. Looking back at the history of this fixture as displayed by Mark’s (award-nominated no less) website, I see a plethora of close games over the years, and the 2025 edition proved no exception. As the opposition players gathered together in a huddle after their various long journeys from various corners of the South of England, clouds similarly gathered under a hot sun to create muggy and sticky playing conditions that would prove challenging for both sides. Englishmen are, after all, unaccustomed and oft ill-equipped to deal with such trifling heat.

With several MSCC players pushing the boundaries of meticulous timekeeping that team sports dictate, it seemed the wisest option to bat first. Skipper Riley took little hesitation in inserting himself at the top of the order to accompany regular opener MF-L. As the rest of the team settled on the benches in the hazy sunshine to discuss such important topics as ‘Why on earth are they called “The Min”?’, and the disruptive nature last night’s mussels were causing to Matt Bazeley’s insides, the diminutive skipper strode to the middle with all the confidence of a man twice his height. Similarly, MF-L has carried himself with a certain swagger this season, the swagger of a man already on the fabled MSCC Honours in 2025 and a smorgasbord of runs to his name already. The stage was set: the kitchen was ready for service, the waiting staff ready to serve up a buffet, and the first diners ready to feast.

Chef P. Wigg was The Man from The Min to take first orders. A tall man with shaggy long hair, a curious long-sleeved t-shirt instead of proper cricket attire, and a long languid run-up cleverly disguised what this man could cook.  Often coming wide of the crease and producing significant lift and bounce, the opening overs were more famine than feast for MSCC’s dynamic duo. Despite an early boundary in the first over, Wigg’s next two were maidens, and similarly from the other end, opening strike partner Anand had a somewhat pricey over before settling into a decent rhythm that MF-L did well to withstand. Anand’s run-up was relatively short, but his whip-like action produced deliveries of considerable pace that required the upmost concentration to resist. But resist they did… Blocking well, leaving well(ish), and using the pace wisely to hit the odd boundary and keep the scoreboard ticking over. Wigg bowled 7 decent overs for a miserly 16 runs, whilst the more threatening Anand went for just 29 from his 6.

After the first course was polished off, change waiting staff of Saif and Iqbal took up the challenge from each end. Iqbal, with the upmost respect, is a fellow short in stature but not in enthusiasm, regularly appealing with might and gusto for anything remotely resembling a nibble down legside. Saif proposed more of a challenge, and started with a juicy maiden. Both openers remained watchful but started to expand their game with sumptuous-looking drives either side of the wicket. Perhaps sensing that today was not the day for hastily-run singles, Mark dealt mostly in boundaries whilst Tim was rather more watchful – resisting the urge to batter anything wayward to the boundary, instead placing more value on his wicket and playing nothing but straight and true. Some extremely casually-ambled singles were taken, but the scorebook remained, unsurprisingly, bereft of 2s and 3s. Well-earned drinks were taken and both men’s half centuries were brought up part-way through the main course.

Chances for The Min were few and far between as TJR and MF-L devoured all plates served before them with verve, hunger and relative nonchalance – one MF-L maximum to the longest part of the ground was a particular highlight. Meanwhile on the boundary ropes, the padded-up Robinson and Meier discussed German philosophy and whether one would rather go into bat with Friedrich Nietszsche or Immanuel Kant. MSCC boundary discussions are notable both for their high calibre, as well as their implausibility. Paul Wordsworth meanwhile was engaged in enthusiastic conversation with some female spectators, whilst Anirudh meanwhile bemoaned the lack of sleep he was afforded by his two young boys. All parents can sympathise. But I digress… Let’s get back the on-field action, Susan.

With the score rapidly approaching 200 runs for zero wickets, thoughts turned to whether MSCC had ever seen such a dominant opening partnership. Certainly few of us had borne witness to such a feat, although Howard did try to regale us of a time back in 1962 when he had opened the batting with A. N. Someone or Other but by then we were too engrossed in proceedings in front of us in the present, and Howard’s anecdote fell by the wayside, like a discarded lettuce leaf. Out in the middle, clearly Tim had had a cheeky word in Mark’s ear, as he started to hit out with more aggression and, therefore, with more risk attached. The aforementioned t-shirt wearer backpedalling, his eyes transfixed on a miscued drive from Mark, never looked particularly confident of claiming the first chance that had been offered up in what felt like eons. When the ball came back down to earth with snow on it, the chance was shelled and Mark breathed a sigh of relief.  Afterwards, Mark informed us that Tim had said they had one or two overs left, hence his attempts to launch all remaining deliveries into the oak trees. Sadly, one more botched drive offered up a simpler catch which was snaffled with all the eagerness of a generously-proportioned infant with a penchant for cake and sweet treats. A nourishing 86 from Mark that could have easily been his second century of the season but for the cruel words of his skipper, for Hamidullah’s eagerly-anticipated Afghan tea special was some time away. In fact, Hamidullah wasn’t even at the ground at this point, so Tim batted on and – would you believe it – he safely secured his century (much to Mark’s chagrin, and despite heckles from his dog Bear on the far boundary rope) alongside Mike Robinson, who biffed a couple and quietly secured a red-inker for himself as Tim declared at 219-1.

With the Afghan course nowhere in sight, confusion reined momentarily and a swift changeover was organised until, at the very last moment, a blue carriage sped hastily down the driveway and Hamidullah and his family unloaded a veritable feast of treats and delights, and tea was indeed taken. Hunks of slow-cooked lamb nestled on a soft and pillowy bosom of rice, with subtle hints of citrus peeping through. Expertly-spiced chicken thighs were accompanied by flatbreads, dollops of refreshing yoghurt and crisp salad, alongside doughy vegetable envelopes in a gentle chickpea and tomato-y glaze. For a sweet course, Hamid served up some cake and a choice of pink or yellow… pink or yellow… well, words fail me as I try to describe what these pink and yellow things were but just know this, dear reader: they were delicious. Huge thanks to Hamidullah and fam for the extraordinary effort in producing what is without question the culinary highlight of this writer’s short time at MSCC.

With bellies fuller and waistbands tighter than usual after tea, and with much puffing of cheeks, your MSCC heroes took to the field with all the athleticism of a gaggle of middle-aged men who had over-indulged somewhat at an Afghan buffet. Even mussel-man Bazeley had thrown caution to the wind (a brave move when wearing whites, some might say) and gorged himself silly. I prayed for anyone standing down-wind… Anirudh meanwhile had informed us that he didn’t think they had a decent enough batting line-up – apparently possessing the enviable skill of being able to judge a team’s batting prowess simply by looking at them. And so, presumably, his confidence was high as he took the ball to open up the second service of cricket. His first ball would generously be called ‘a loosener’ but his pace and accuracy soon picked up as he probed at the top of off stump. Chef extraordinaire Hammi D took the ball from the other end and, with a fake tattoo sleeve on one arm, he delivered with his usual searing pace and hostility. Hamid’s line was a little more scatter-gun than usual, however, and Stevyn had to be at his athletic and dextrous best to prevent any byes creeping through. With all the grace of a prime Grobelaar (or Clemence for those of a more distinguished vintage), Stevyn threw himself around with gay abandon, using every part of his body to stop the ball including, occasionally, his hands.

Ani bowled a tidy 5 overs for 15 runs and was replaced by boundary lothario Mr P. Wordsworth esq – his unusual backwards cap deployment drawing coos of delight from his gaggle of female followers. Bowling full and straight, a few yorkers posed questions of The Min openers. Indeed it was Paul who made the first breakthrough, clean bowling opener Earnie for 18. This brought The Min’s gun batter Anand to the crease, and he immediately looked in good touch with a few nicely-times straight drives and some deft whips off his pads. The game was on. Hamidullah’s persistence paid off, though, and he had the other opener LBW for 31. The Min had made a decent start, certainly better than Anirudh had predicted.

‘Two-Step’ Seril was next into the attack, but Anand in particular took a liking to his deliveries and Seril was withdrawn after just 3 overs, retreating to the covers where he expertly marshalled the offside field. Marshalled so well in fact that he took a crucially-timed catch off skipper Riley’s bowling. Riley is not blessed for pace, but years of experience and unerring accuracy make him a difficult bowler to get away. Riley took care of The Min’s #4 bat with a nice LBW. Despite The Min’s score increasing, the number in the wickets’ column was also increasing, and it was anybody’s guess at this stage whether they had the numbers to accompany Anand in his increasingly defiant stand against the MSCC onslaught. As the death overs approached, the sun dipped and the sky began to bruise, Tim’s calls for extra effort in the field were heard far and wide, with Howard patrolling the pavilion boundary like a lion possessed, and Mike leaping around like a salmon on the opposite side. Howard effected one excellent run out with a brilliant pick up and throw to Stevyn. And despite difficult chances being put down by both Bazeley and Riley, the team kept plugging away and when Anand went for one heave too many towards long on, Anirudh took a stunning catch to put MSCC slightly in the ascendancy.

Anirudh likes to take his mobile phone onto the field and when handing it to the umpire was asked why. “I need it for business,” came the reply. “What sort of business?” “I’m in the business of taking wickets, friend.” Sure enough, Gallagher was out LBW to Mr A. Shama not long thereafter. But The Min’s #7 batter, Saif, was still in and looking dangerous and the total of 219 drew ever closer. It got to the point of them needing 8 to win from the last over, the responsibility lying on Riley’s shoulders. With 5 taken from the first 4 balls, then a dot ball, our di-MIN-uative opposition required 3 to win off the final ball. A full delivery struck firmly to Ali at long off, the ball ricocheting this way and that as it bounced off the numerous cracks in the outfield, and time stood still for a brief moment. Players and spectators alike held their collective breath. The batters ran two; the ball was, however safely pouched and returned to Riley at the bowler’s end and a delicious draw was the final – and fairest – conclusion after a long hot day in the cauldron of MSCC cricket.

Thanks, as always, to those who manned the bar, the BBQ, and the scorebook, our opposition for making the trip, and of course our splendid sponsors Nolan Oils.

Yours,
Ali Meier, still padded up.