Match Report

T’was a team named Iffley,
An oppo batting quite stiffly,
They bowled too well,
But drank a swell,
So Stoney can now tour to Iffley.

So Tim told me to write this match report in iambic pentameter but to stop ChatGPT from getting the call up in the holidays (or my Dad trying more limericks) I’ll refrain.

On Sunday, Middleton faced off against a strong “Iffley” side containing some of our own players. Middleton started out in the field and were immediately met with success as Shaan bowled a magnificent ball to dismiss Stevyn Jackson who gracefully opened up for the opposition. Thankfully there was no Ronaldo celebration since even he was surprised at such a brilliant start. Wickets continued to tumble for the Iffley side throughout due to some good bowling from Paul, George and Seril. Iffley found themselves staring down the barrel of an early tea at 64-5. However, a stellar partnership put them very much back in the game, with 50s from their Number 3  ‘Daylight’ Rob Berry and Olly the run machine Ross at Number 7 putting them at 151-6. Some strong bowling from Tim and Paul returning for his second spell kept them from scoring too many and they declared just before their allowed time was up, leaving them with 204 on the board.

After an excellent tea provided by Seril and his family, Middleton stepped (some say staggered?) out onto the pitch to reply to Iffley’s innings. Gus and Mark opened up, facing their own lead wicket taker in Hamidullah who proved why he holds the title at present, taking the wickets of both openers and Jay. After getting off to a strong start, we started to slow as John Floyd made his return with the ball, bowling a useful spell taking 3 wickets. Then, as we continued to gift our wickets, a certain Stevyn who didn’t have the finest start to the game, stepped up and, I shouldn’t praise the opposition, took a wicket off his first ball – none other than Capt. Riley who struck fear into the Iffley team. Hope appeared as George came in and smashed his first ball over mid off but was then dismissed by a beauty which just clipped his off stump. Some more good bowling took a few more wickets and soon we had reached the final pair; Seril and Paul. “Dum spiro spero”- while there’s breath there’s hope –  and that’s certainly what the last players were living by. As overs ticked by, the chance of a draw grew stronger. Defence, more defence, a single here and a wide there… 14 overs, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5…. But sadly, fate befell just 27 balls before we could get over the line. Stoney ended up all out for 151 after a performance loaded with action that just didn’t quite fall our way. We are excellent and tactful hosts. Well played to everyone and Floreat Middletonus Stoneyus!

Gus Floyd