Match Report

To walk a mile in Simmo’s trousers.

There are those cricketers who are compelled to arrive at the cricket ground well in advance of the game. They like to ensure that all the pre match niceties are completed, to enquire of fellow players if they have had a good week, to help the tea makers unload and to set out or  check the flags, sightscreens and boundary ropes. There are also those who do not fall under the spell of such a compulsion. Middleton Stoney has a blend of both types.  Fortunately this week the compelled made up the majority. Therefore as most of the  Rainmen decanted from a lunch at the  Horse and Groom, the ground was looking in tip top condition; the flowerpots newly restocked, the Nolan  Gas and Nolan Oil banners bedecked the scorebox and both captains were walking to the middle to toss half an hour before the first ball. Middleton Stoney had nine players changed and ready, the Rain Men 10.

Rain Men  match the age profile of Middleton Stoney. The majority of the team were past the first flush of youth.  On the whole, the home team looked the fitter and more agile.  Each team featured a brace of players on the younger side of 30. The missing Rain Man was due to arrive by train in Bicester and then to cycle to the ground. No contact could be made so it was assumed he was pedalling on route. As MSCC had won the toss and chosen to bat the final two home players were needed less urgently. At the appointed hour the final two had pulled up and parked, but one was to realise that had travelled without his trousers! 

Shaan Singh was volunteered to field for the Rain Men until the missing cyclist appeared. The cyclist wheeled into the ground as the first over was completed. “Terribly sorry” he said,” I got lost in the Bicester one way system”.  The Rain Men’s opening bowler was Bewley, one of the younger two. A cross between Freddy Flintoff and Hugh Grant, he had Freddy’s physique and Hugh’s floppy hair. He was  a lively proposition if somewhat wayward in line.  Tims, Riley and House, were careful to watch the ball and grateful that the close mown outfield ensured any ball missed by the keeper sped away for four byes.  Brook bowling from the Church End was less pacy, his first ball eased by the Skipper through extra cover for four. However he beat both batsmen on several occassions with deliveries that drifted away. The cyclist, now behind the stumps whipped off the bails each time, but back feet were safely anchored.

Twice Tim H was dropped. It would be a harsh judge to call them drops. The first hit the outstretched fingers of Phu, who was unable to pull his hand away in time, and the second cannoned into the left shoulder of the boundary fielder before it crossed the boundary rope. Meanwhile the trouser less player was struggling to find a solution. Should he return home, a round trip of an hour, or would a simpler answer occur. Inspiration was the thought that Simmo lives nearby and would not be needing his whites today. A phone call, a helpful response and in no time Asif was dressed in bespoke flannel.

A very healthy collection of extras ensured rapid progress of the scoreboard.  Strokes all around the ground saw the hundred come up inside 15 overs. The change of bowlers did nothing to slow the run rate. Approaching his fifty Tim R attempted an over ambitious shot to the bowling of Phu and was out for 49. Howard was just beginning to get going when the umpire decided the ball that had hid his pad was going on to hit the stumps. Replacing Howard was Matt Bazeley, fresh from telling his story of the time Hugh Grant had played a game locally and the match had been temporarily halted as local ladies clamoured around seeking his autograph.  Tim and Matt took advantage of some wayward deliveries from Phu and Whitaker, Tim able to retire on 59 not out. 

Last season James Lyon made his top score of 93 against the Rainmen. Informed by the Captain that a declaration was imminent he was sent out on a mission to attack. The best ball of the day was bowled to James, and to his chagrin James was walking back for a first ball duck. It may have been a disappointment for James, but he would have the chance with ball in the second innings to gain his revenge. With the score past 200 the Skipper called the players off the field in well ahead of tea time.

Howard and Paula had prepared a lavish spread. The was no danger of anyone, players, spectators or the rest of the population of Middleton Stoney going hungry. Your correspondent was delighted to graze on the fresh fruit, pineapple should be made compulsory at tea for the rest of the season while a huge pile of chocolate brownies finally bowed to the hungry hoards. Many thanks your catering was wonderful.

Mark Ford Langstaff volunteered to umpire the second innings. With the inspiration of Simon Godfrey wandering around he too took the opportunity to take some photographs from the heart of the action. The declaration gave Rain Men a generous 95mins and a further 20 overs to score the runs, it also gave Middleton Stoney around 50 0vers to take 10 wickets. After five overs the innings was in tatters. James and Hamidullah were too quick and too accurate for the first 5 Rain Men all of whom were clean bowled, three by James and two by Hamidullah. Three sets of four byes gave the Rain Men a start as the home skipper showed some mercy and gave his openers a rest.

George Robinson begin with a perfectly flighted delivery and conceded only 2 runs from his first over. Seril Shah did not begin with a perfectly flighted delivery but improved over by over, exceedling unlucky not to take a wicket when a delivery brushed the leg stump but did not dislodge the bail. Wall and Bewley took advantage of the open spaces and fast outfield and took the innings to a point where they starting to work out how much time was left and how many runs they needed. The partnership was broken by some outstanding work from bowler Seril. Poor calling left Wall stranded half way down the wicket, the throw came to the wrong end. In an instant Seril hurled the ball to the keeper’s end shattering the wicket and the partnership in one go.

All the while the home team fielded energetically, James Lyon running from one boundary to the next in the hope of high catch, George chasing anything that moved and Arvind and Shaan cutting off the singles. Arvind replace George from the Church End. On the last ball of his first over Russell edged agonisingly between keeper and the outstretched fingers of Matt Bazeley at slip. 

Asif, in the cleanest of cricket whites, had his turn from the farm end. The slip cordon, which was full to overflowing, mentioned that every so often the ball would swing in alarmingly. Batsman Bewley took note. A good job he did as the next ball was the one that swung in! Arvind nearly struck but was denied in both his second and third overs. First the ball was belted close to Asif at deep mid wicket, just out of his reach. Then a lofted drive was just over the head of Howard at long on. Arvind got his reward the very next ball with Howard clinging on to a shot less cleanly struck.  Bewley departed for the visitors top score of 36. The sequence of events has been captured by Simon Godfrey’s photographs.

Asif too picked up a wicket, Shaan running in from Mid off to take a catch just in front of his knees. Shaan became the seventh home bowler to have a spell, this time he was wicketless. As the final hour approached, James Lyon was recalled to finish off the innings and to get his name on the five wickets honours board. I am sure he would have done had Hamidullah not struck first. Between them Hamidullah and James had 7 wickets for 13 runs.

The Rain Men are good company and chatted in the last of the sunshine over beer and barbeque. George Robinson did a splendid job with tongs, even ensuring that there was a cremated sausage for George. Seril and Howard kept the refreshments flowing, many thanks to those who volunteer, notably to Chris Greer in score box.

Next week is the first game in the Sunday Friendly league against Appleton. It is a 40 over game and is due to start at 2.00pm.